Reality TV: Scooby Style
by Freezyboncoolipants
Summary: The Scoobies and The Fang Gang have never met, what happens when eight of them are invited onto a reality TV show? INCOMPLETE
1. Cure For All Things Bad

Disclaimer: I own Kendall, Joss owns the rest.

Author's note: I've already written the first few chapters, so even if you think this one is boring, please keep reading, coz I promise it'll get better! This is my first attempt at a non mystical fanfic, so be kind when reviewing! 

*********

The tall cheery building smiled down, almost lovingly at the stretch of land surrounding it. From the outside, Dappleton Manor looked like the cure for all things bad, but as Kendall Dappleton knew, the business of show was a risky one, she was determined to make her mark, and the cure for all things bad was not the way to do it.

*********

Winifred Burkle was the first to arrive, although the car which pulled up next to her was a close second. She watched shyly as the man got out, he was incredibly handsome, in a "saved me from the monsters" sort of way, but Fred knew as well as the next person that monsters didn't exist.

Her heart beating faster than she was comfortable with, she hurriedly brushed the remaining taco crumbs off her skirt to join him.

"Hi!" she cried, over enthusiastically, her Texan accent strong. "I'm Fred".

"Angel" came the reply.

Winifred let out a nervous giggle, fighting the urge to go into babble mode.

*********

"One by one they arrive. Strangers in a strange house. Two down, six to go."

"And cut."

Kendall breathed a sigh of relief as she lay back on her brightly coloured towel.

"Make that five" she said to herself, as she spotted the third car, it was still a way off, but she could see for miles from the rooftop.

"And now, we wait."

*********

Both Angel and Fred turned round at the exact same time, as the noise from a car radio filled their ears. A few seconds later, the vehicle caught up with it's music, and a blond guy jumped out.

"Bloody Hell!" he exclaimed, on seeing the size of the building. "The name's William, but my friends call me Spike!"

Angel glared at the English man, dislike already in his eyes.

"And what do your enemies call you?" he asked dryly.

Spike grinned. "Dunno. Never made none!"

"Well, it's very nice to meet you Spike", the brunette offered her hand. "I'm Fred".

"Fred", he repeated, scanning his eyes over her for a second. " So what's up with Captain Broody Pants?"

Fred laughed. "That's Angel", she explained, not really answering his question.

Spike raised an eyebrow at her.

"Angel?" he thought to himself. "Sounds like a poof!"

*********

Kendall peered over the edge of the wall, her head rested on her hands, the wind lightly ruffling her wavy hair.

The "Broody Pants" comment would be sure to get a laugh, she just knew it.

*********

Willow Rosenberg was lost. There was no doubt about it, she was lost. It was times like these that she wished miracles really happened, or that she had a fairy godmother, or even witches to help her. But seeing as how witches didn't play a part in her life, or anyone else's for that matter, it was highly unlikely.

But, luckily for her, a miracle was on it's way. A miracle with the name Alexander Harris, who just happened to be passing.

"Hey! I'm always looking for a damsel in distress!" Xander started, trying his best to flirt, but failing miserably. "Are you in distress?" he asked uncertainly, his confidence disappearing.

Willow nodded shyly, her cheeks turning the same colour as her hair, and showed him her destination.

"Snap!" he smiled, and waved an exact copy of the piece of paper in her face.

"I guess that makes us both lost" Willow realised, as Xander's face fell.

*********

Kendall glared impatiently at the three people below her, the three people who'd seemed to have decided to stay outside all day.

"Time is money" she'd always been taught, and she was five people short, with three boring banana's glued to the driveway.

She didn't have the money for this amount of time.

*********

"Macho Macho Man!"

Elizabeth Summers was scared of nothing and no one, she could kick ass, and Dappleton Manor was going to be a piece of cake!

"I want to be a Macho Man!"

*********

Fred sighed uncomfortably, she had the feeling of being watched, and the silence was awkward.

"So…" she began.

"So…" Angel continued.

"Nice weather", Spike finished, each as uncomfortable as the other, and all three were equally relieved to see a fourth car join them, and a blond woman step out.

"Hello fellow persons!" She greeted them happily, using the tone of voice you would usually use for a child. "I hear money is to be gained from this!"

"If you win", came a muffled voice, Anya was unsure who from, but she replied just as happily.

"I'm sure my sexual nature and nice breasts will do that for me!"

Angel, Spike and Fred, looked at each other, a mixture of interest, confusion, and embarrassment in their eyes.

TBC: Sorry about all the jumping around! It'll settle down when they're all together. Please review, even if you hated it, just be gentle!  


	2. Chocolatey Goodness

Disclaimer: Not mine, Not mine, Not mine, Not mine, Not mine, Not mine. (Except Kendall and Harrison)

Author's note: This is definitely gonna get more reality T.V show-ified from now on, and I'm open for any suggestions on what the gang might have to do for a challenge, or something. In fact, I really REALLY would love suggestions, coz my minds blank! Oh, and please review!

"We're lost", Willow sighed, despite Xander's cheerfulness.

"Don't say that," he said happily. "Just coz we don't know where we are, doesn't make us…"

"Lost?"

Xander nodded in defeat. "But, I've got a map," he paused and reached into a bag. "And, chocolaty goodness!"

* * *

Tara Maclay smiled bravely to herself, she was shy, always had been, and a few weeks (if she lasted that long) being constantly watched by millions, was not something to look forward to. But her family had insisted it was a good idea, and they weren't the kind of people to stand up to.

* * *

Kendall groaned and repeatedly slammed her head against the wall.

"Do you see them?" She demanded.

Harrison raised his eyes above his magazine.

"Do you?!"

He got up impatiently and peered over the edge of the wall surrounding the highest point of the manor. 

"What?"

"Those IDIOTS!" She pointed at two parked cars about half a mile away, Harrison sighed.

"How do you even know they're coming here?" he challenged, receiving a glare from his girlfriend.

"Where else would they be going?!" She hissed, obviously not a good person to put pressure on.

* * *

The remaining four cars all arrived at Dappleton Manor together, both Xander and Willow feeling increasingly stupid at how "lost" they were, when their destination was literally just around the corner.

Fred ran over to them excitedly, leaving Spike and Angel listening to Anya, who was explaining all the different uses for peanut butter to her fascinated audience.

"Hey!" Xander cried, "And … WOW!"

Fred smiled, guessing correctly that he was talking about the building, not her.

"I know!" Buffy agreed. "Way with the huge!"

Tara stood back out of the conversation, trying to pluck up the courage to say something. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, for the red headed girl turned and spotted her.

"Hi" she said. "I'm Willow".

"Tara"

Willow smiled, although doubting Tara saw, as her eyes were fixed on a spot on the floor.

* * *

Harrison draped his arm around Kendall's shoulder.

"You know" he whispered. "That Anya chick has some good ideas!"

Kendall pushed him away, vowing never to look at peanut butter the same way again.

"Now is not the time" She warned with slight laughter in her voice, but over ruled by panic. "Don't you want this to go well?!"

Harrison sighed, wishing he'd never got his girlfriend started on this crazy idea, which he knew as well as she did, would be a disaster.

* * *

"So, now we enter?" Angel asked the group, whose names he still hadn't learnt, although he suspected he wasn't the only one.

"Aye, aye Captain!" Fred giggled, receiving a few amused looks.

Spike stepped forwards and pushed open the door, determined not to let Angel take the spot light.

"Bloody Hell!" he exclaimed, causing the other seven to gather around him in curiosity.

"Wow!" Xander said, for the second time since he'd arrived. "Does anyone else feel a strong urge to smash things up?"

Spike nodded in agreement, but then again, Spike just enjoyed smashing things up, he wasn't led on by the poshness of the place.

"We can't stay here," Tara said quietly, feeling overwhelmed by the "clean" look of the place, and the amount of artsy type things in just the doorway area.

Buffy was thinking the exact same thing, only out loud.

"Is that real?" She asked, not expecting a reply, pointing to a "gold" statue in the corner.

"Yes!" Came Kendall's voice through a speaker which no one could see, causing Anya and Angel to scream, only Angel covered it up better.

"Enough to give a man a heart attack!" Spike commented, while Kendall continued speaking, giving instructions on where to go next.

TBC: Not the longest chapter, i know, but please review!


	3. Master Of Chaos

* * *

Disclaimer: Not mine! Feigenbaum belongs to Joss too, and for anyone who hasn't seen "A Hole In The World", Feigenbaum was Fred's toy rabbit.

Author's note: REALLY SORRY about how long it took me to update!!

* * *

"It's official," Xander announced, as he walked into the bathroom. "We can not stay here!"

Willow followed him in, seeing no reason why they couldn't stay there. The room was huge, easily twice the size of her bedroom, and consisted of the most elaborate furnishings imaginable. It looked perfect, although not something you'd find on a reality TV show.

"Why?" She asked, honestly confused as to what could be wrong.

Xander pointed, a small camera was positioned at the top of one of the walls, with a clear view of both the shower and the toilet.

Willow's eyes grew wide, it still hadn't sunk in exactly what "Reality TV" meant. "You're right," she admitted. "We can't stay here!"

* * *

Buffy smiled to herself as she walked down the corridor of the huge house, everywhere she looked there seemed to be luxury. It was something she wasn't used to, and definately not something she'd expect to find on a reality TV show. She knew it had to be too good to be true, and she was right.

As she turned into the bedroom, Kendall had given strict instructions pn how to get there, she gasped and dropped her bags. For although the room was the most amazingly decorated room she'd ever seen, it only contained four beds, four double beds.

"Guys!" She called, trying to get the rest of the housemates to join her, but not really remembering their names. "GUYS!"

Soon Buffy was joined by seven others, five who were equally shocked, but Willow and Xander seemed calmer, they were ready for anything after what they'd seen in the bathroom.

"You know what this means, right?" Angel asked, not directly to any one person.

"Yeah!" Spike cheered. "Girl bed buddies!"

Xander's eyes widened as he realised what Spike meant, and grinned.

"Well, i don't know about you," Fred began. "But i don't think i'm ready to share my bed with a stranger. No offence."

"I'll sleep with you," Anya offered kindly. "And that came out a lot more lesbian than it was supposed to."

Tara blushed, and Fred smiled shyly at Anya, slightly intimidated by her.

"OK, well that's sorted," Buffy said, taking control. "Xander, Angel..."

"No way!" Xander cut her off in deep protest, he wasn't sure why, but Angel was the last person he wanted to sleep with. He linked his arm through the arm of his new best friend, and pulled her closer. "I'm with Willow!"

"Fine, i'll go with Angel," Buffy announced, thinking that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all. "So that leaves you two," she pointed at Spike and Tara, who didn't look overly happy.

"Don't worry pet," he told her. "I don't bite!"

* * *

Kendall leaned over and kissed Harrison softly. "See Harry," she whispered, a lot calmer than before. "I told you it would work."

He looked into the eyes of his power crazed girlfriend, who had no idea about reality TV at all, and smiled, one eyebrow raised. "I guess double beds are always a good idea!"

Kendall punched him playfully. "Focus!"

She got up and walked to the door leading down from the roof, it was dark and the roof was only good for a tan in the daytime.

Harrison followed her down the steps, Kendall might not have had much experience with TV, but she had experience with money, and the pair entered a room completely covered with screens, each showing a different part of the house.

Harrison bit his lip as he noticed something on one of the screens, and waited for the explosion, it didn't take long.

"THEY'RE SLEEPING!" Kendall screamed, imaginary smoke pouring out her ears and nose, like on cartoons. "People aren't going to pay to watch them sleep! This whole thing is a disaster!"

Harrison grabbed his girlfriend and began rubbing her tense shoulders, as soon as he felt her relax more, he whispered, "Ken, sweetie, people sleep. You should try it sometime."

She turned and glared at him, before moving out of his reach.

* * *

Tara lay awake in the dark, listening to Spike's rythmic breathing, she couldn't sleep knowing he was there, she couldn't feel comfortable.

A high pitched scream from the other side of the room let Tara know she wasn't the only one awake, as the lights switched on.

"Turn it off," Xander mumbled sleepily. "Too bright."

"I am not sleeping with that thing!" Anya announced loudly, waking up more people than she did with her scream.

Fred looked at her, confused, then looked down at her stuffed bunny which Anya was backing away from, and laughed.

"That's Feigenbaum," She explained, picking it up. "He's the master of chaos."

"Master of chaos is right!" Anya yelled hysterically. "I'm changing beds! Someone change with me!"

* * *

Kendall began to laugh, her mood having completely changed with no warning. Harrison was getting used to her unpredictable behaviour though, "What?" he asked sleepily from a chair in the corner, where unlike his girlfriend, he'd been trying to rest.

"That girl, the one who does things with peanut butter..."

"Anya?"

"Yeah, her."

Harrison waited patiently for the rest of the sentence, but it never came, Kendall just continued her outburst of laughter.

* * *

TBC: Please review!! I need to know you're still interested, and i'll update quicker if you do!!

Next chapter: The gang find "The Bounce", and play a rousing game of water polo.


	4. Winners Win What?

* * *

Disclaimer: Kendall and Harrison are mine, that's all I own in the world, ever!!! 

Author's note: Short as normal, but hey, I updated quicker this time, that's gotta be a plus, right?

I'm not sure on any of the characters ability to swim, so I made it up, ok?

* * *

Willow opened her eyes and checked her watch: 6.45. She sighed and rolled over, becoming face to face with Tara.

Both girls screamed.

There had been a lot of beds being swapped after Anya's outburst, and she was now with Xander, while Spike and Fred found themselves sharing. Willow smiled to herself as she realised that Buffy had been the only one not to change, she'd managed to spend the whole night with Angel.

A groan was heard throughout the room as a bell began to ring, and Kendall's voice was heard telling everybody to get up.

"Piss off!" Spike yelled, not completely awake, holding up his middle finger to where he guessed the camera would be.

Next to him, Fred rolled out of bed dressed in a large t-shirt. "I'm up," she announced, to no one in particular, as she pulled on a pair of jeans.

Buffy watched her, amazed that anyone could be that cheerful so early in the morning.

* * *

Harrison stirred in the chair, vaguely noticing Kendall yelling into the microphone.

"Morning," he yawned. "Did you even get any sleep?" He asked, concerned.

She shook her head. "Sleep is for people without any pressure," she explained. "Like them."

Harrison followed her finger as she pointed to the screen showing the bedroom.

"The red headed one, talks in her sleep," Kendall told him, convinced he'd want to know. "If I don't stay awake, I might miss something."

Harrison stared at the crazy woman. "The whole thing is being recorded," he said slowly, as if speaking to a child. "You won't miss a thing!"

* * *

Twenty minutes later, everyone was dressed. Xander, deturmined to be the guy who everyone remembered for his fashion sense, was wearing a pair of red shorts, and a Hawaiian print t-shirt.

"Nice." Spike commented sarcastically, as Kendall's voice was heard once again, telling them to go to the pool for their first challenge.

Everyone's mouth dropped open.

"There's a pool?!"

"We get challenges?!" Buffy and Willow cried simultaniously, causing them to laugh.

Only Tara looked worried about this latest revelation, but she kept her head down and no one noticed, they knew she was shy, and paid little attention to her, although not on purpose.

* * *

"The pool?" Harrison cried in disbelief, wondering what was going through Kendall's deluded mind. 

"Yes." She stated. "Viewers like barely dressed people, I've read it."

He just stared at her, honestly doubting her sanity, "You're just completely making this up as you go along, aren't you?"

He knew the answer, Kendall had absolutely no idea about running a TV show, but she was pretty, rich, and paying for everything, why should a little thing like knowledge stand in her way?

"No!" She lied. "I have a plan."

The show hadn't even been picked up by any channels, and Harrison secretly doubted it would be. It was more of an "expensive home project" than anything. He'd correctly come to the conclusion that she'd literally woken up one morning with the idea in her head, and nothing could stop Kendall Dappleton once she had an idea.

"Water polo," She told him proudly.

* * *

The pool was huge, olympic sized, near enough, and everyone was questioning how they'd missed it. They'd all changed again, with the exceptions of Anya, and Tara, one who'd stripped down to her red underwear, much to Xander's delight, and one who was still fully clothed.

All the boys were in their swimming gear, Angel feeling slightly self concious, and Spike fighting the urge to strip off completely; give the world something to really remember him by.

"Water polo," came Kendall's voice, shocking everyone as usual. "Two teams, the winners .... win." She broke off there, mentally kicking herself for not arranging some sort of reward.

"Hey, Voice Lady," Xander yelled. "Winners win what?"

"Voice Lady" didn't reply, which didn't really bother anybody, as everone entered the pool except Tara.

Willow headed over to her, wrapping her arms around her bare belly, feeling uncomfortable revealing so much on camera.

"Not playing?" She asked gently.

Tara shook her head, avoiding eye contact. "I'm not that confident, um ... water." She blushed, and Willow smiled.

"Come on," She coaxed. "We'll take care of you, and we need you for even teams."

Tara kicked off her shoes, embarressed at her confession, and got into the water, still wearing a long denim skirt with a flowery t-shirt, deturmined not to let Willow think any less of her.

* * *

TBC: Reviews = Me Happy!!

And sorry about any spelling mistakes, I no longer have a spell checker.


	5. Leaning Tower Of People

* * *

Disclaimer: Kendall and Harrison are mine. Joss owns everything else.

Author's note: Sorry about the longness between updates! But I've only got 2 more days of school, yay! Then 6 weeks of updates, and no school, but then another 2 years of lessons after that. So urgh! 

Lia Star: Your wish is my command!

Fred-V-Illyria, Numfarismyidol, and I Hope You Dance: There is going to be some hinted pairings, but it really depends on who gets voted out. Thanks for reviewing!

Brigurl: I thought it sounded like something Xander would say, glad you liked it!

Miss69: See, I promised you I'd update this weekend!

Dream Mistress: I'm glad you like it, and yeah, I'm pretty sure the peanut butter ideas are what you think they are!!

* * *

"So," Xander started, after a few minutes of pointlessly swimming in circles. "Anyone here actually know how to play water polo?"

Unsurprisingly, everyone shook their heads. Xander sighed.

"Voice lady?" he called, that particular nickname sticking in his head. "Hey?"

He, of course got no reply, which was to be expected seeing as once again, Kendall had opened her mouth before thinking, and didn't know how to play either.

"Well," he said, taking control, and holding up a pink inflatable. "We've got a ball, so anyone got any ideas?"

"I know a game," Fred finally admitted, after a long pause. "I used to play it." She giggled slightly, "It's called 'The Leaning Tower Of People', you know, like Pisa?"

Willow smiled and nodded, whereas Buffy looked blank.

"There's two teams, and it's like volleyball, except, if one team drops it, then a member has to climb onto the leader's back, and so on, until a tower is made. The first tower to fall over, loses." Fred explained, in one long breath, looking at everyone expectantly.

Spike raised an eyebrow at her. "Bloody Hell!"

* * *

"See. I told you it would work," Kendall said proudly. 

Harrison raised his eyes barely above his magazine, to stare at her.

"Ken," he said dryly. "They don't know how to play water polo. You don't know how to play water polo. No one here knows how to play water polo. How is it working?"

"Who cares about water polo?!" She cried, as if it had never been her idea in the first place. "They've got a new game, which, of course, was my plan all along," she lied, tossing her dark hair over her shoulders, and leading the way onto the roof. "Don't tell me you're not curious."

* * *

Despite almost everyone's reluction to play, the game was going surprisingly well, for the members of Buffy's team, anyway. 

The only people actually willing to play, were Anya and Fred. Anya, because it meant the chance to sit on a man's shoulders, and Fred, well, she just liked the game, which was a strange thing for any adult to admit, even though it was worryingly addictive.

King Xander, as he had named himself, after becoming the top of the tower, sat on Buffy's shoulders, while the other two team mates, Anya and Tara, remained in the water; they were winning.

On the other side of the pool, Angel, Willow, and Fred, wobbled with little balance, almost certain to fall. Spike was their only hope, and he wasn't the best person to put that sort of pressure on, as Angel was about to find out.

The blond grinned and ducked under the water, causing everyone to stare in disbelief, as he grabbed Angel's legs, and pulled him down, Willow and Fred falling in opposite directions, as their team captain got fully soaked.

"We're on the same side!" Angel growled, emerging from the water, both embarrassed and defensive, his hair gel completely washed out.

Spike shrugged; he didn't take sides. "Got bored."

* * *

"Gotta love that Spike!" Kendall laughed, watching the eight contestants from her place on the roof. 

"Really?" Harrison asked, faking interest. "I, personally prefer Anya. That chick has some good ideas!"

Kendall sighed. "The peanut butter suggestion? Really starting to get old."

Ignoring that comment, he walked over beside her. "So, who won?"

* * *

"Would everyone please make their way to the main building," Kendall instructed in her 'official' voice, the one she assumed everyone on television, had.

"I wonder what we won," Anya said, getting excited, even though nobody really won anything, as Spike had stopped the game before the end.

The group wrapped towel's around themselves, and followed the instructions to go into the house, where Kendall then gave directions to an unexplored portion of the Manor, a portion called, 'The Bounce.'

"Who named that?" Buffy wondered aloud, with slight laughter in her voice.

* * *

Kendall poked her tongue out happily at Harrison, proud to finally be able to say, "This one was your doing!"

* * *

As Willow slowly pushed the door open, everyone gasped, as an entirely inflatable room came into view, including the floor and walls.

Xander nodded approvingly. "Nice!"

'The Bounce', contained blow-up chairs, beds, even a table, all full of air, and all balanced carefully on the jelly like floor.

"Bloody Hell!"

* * *

TBC: I'll go into more detail about 'The Bounce', in my next few chapters, but it's going to become a main feature, so I hope you like the look of it. Please review! 


	6. Walking With Cavemen

Disclaimer: Kendall and Harrison are mine. Tara's story about the kitty is taken from the "Buffy" episode "Family", and the cavemen-vs.-astronauts argument is based on the argument from the "Angel" episode "A Hole In The World".

Authors note: I think this chapter is a bit longer than normal, so I hope you like it.

Fred-V-Illyria: Glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing.

SpikesSpecialFriend: You said in your review that you went back to school on August 4th so I hope it's going ok. I don't go back till 2nd September. Hope you like this chapter!

Cinderella835: I've always loved blow-up furniture too!

Imzadi: Nope, there's no connection with Harrison from Tru Calling, as much as I love him. I like your Lindsey idea, but I'm not really sure how I'd introduce him into the story, so I'm open for suggestions.

Miss69: I agree, it would be hard to play, but yeah I'd have a go at it.

Brigurl: Thanks for reviewing and I have no idea how to play water polo either!

Saefvcnsa,mdgt: I'm pleased you like it.

Kitty-Kat12: Wow. Thanks!

Mistymidnight: If I have pairings then the ones you listed are the ones I'm going for, but I'm not sure yet. Thanks for reviewing!

There are hinted pairings though.

* * *

Anya took a step forwards onto the wobbly floor, bouncing up and down slightly. 

"Imagine the fun we could have in here," she announced, winking at Xander with an unusual subtlety. Unsure if she was joking, he managed to choke out an uncertain laugh, his face getting warmer.

Spike noticed this and grinned, waiting eagerly for Anya to notice the blow-up double bed, which didn't take long, much to Xanders embaressment. However, her discovery was soon forgotten as the group explored the room further.

"Inflatable jacuzzi!"

Everyone turned at the outburst from Willow before actually realising what she'd said.

"Inflatable jacuzzi?" Angel repeated with disbelief in his voice.

Willow nodded and Fred's mouth dropped open.

"How? How is that even possible?"

"You got me," Buffy admitted, taking an athletic style leap across the springy floor, landing accurately next to the jacuzzi. "But wait till you see what's inside."

A look of confusion and curiosity appeared on everyone's face, even Willow's, despite the fact that she was standing right next to it.

Tara stepped forward and shyly peered into the dark liquid. "Chocolate."

* * *

"You got a chocolate jacuzzi?" Harrison cried with disbelief. "An inflatable chocolate jacuzzi? A jacuzzi which is inflatable and has chocolate?!" 

Kendall simply nodded, unsure what he was getting at, a proud smile creeping across her face.

"And you're not seeing the problem here? Like, for example, the fact that you're INSANE?!"

Kendall leapt down from her position on the wall surrounding the roof of the Manor, and smiled reassuringly at him.

"You haven't seen the best part yet."

* * *

"Why would anyone want to sit in chocolate?" Angel asked the group, with honest confusion. "You'd make it all dirty. Such a waste." 

"Hey." Buffy protested. "How dirty do you think we are?"

Spike raised an eyebrow at her.

"On second thoughts, don't answer that."

Spike grinned. "Well, if Captain Forehead here thinks you're gonna dirty it up, then maybe I should get me a taster now," he decided, dipping his finger into the warm sticky goo.

"Maybe that's not such a good idea," Willow warned, picking up a piece of paper with the words, "Do not eat the chocolate. Or else." printed clearly on it.

Spike slid his finger into his mouth and laughed. "Bugger that. Who says 'or else' anyway?"

* * *

"I do," Kendall giggled. "I say 'or else'" 

Harrison took a deep breath and rubbed his forehead; Kendalls sudden happiness worrying him.

"Or else what?" he asked nervously, aware that with his girlfriend's crazy imagination, anything was possible.

"Or else they get a trip to the punishment room," she sang happily, swinging her legs up onto the wall. "And congratulations Spike. You get to be the first victim."

* * *

Spike took his hands away from his ears and sighed in relief. For the first time in three hours, the room was actually silent. He found it amazing just how much torture three hours of classical music could be, and it was worse than he'd ever imagined. 

Just as he was about to try the door once again, the silence too suspicious, a widescreen tv which had gone unnoticed, automatically switched on, and a loud voice echoed through the room.

"Walking With Cavemen. This two hour programme purports to bring you the most accurate portrayal of our ancient ancestors spanning 3.5 million years ..."

Spike groaned and buried his head in his hands. This was it. He'd finally gone to Hell.

* * *

Willow smiled sleepily at Tara as the two of them sat on the blow-up couch in 'The Bounce', neither of them wanting to join Anya and Xander in their chocolate party with Buffy and Angel, who had been forced into the pool, still claiming he didn't see the point. 

"This all seems too unbelievable," Willow admitted in a whisper to her new friend. "I keep expecting some celebrity to pop in and read us a story."

Tara gave her a confused look. Celebrity? Story?

"You know? All seated around the inflatable couch? ... Never mind."

Tara smiled at her shyly. Willow had been the only person to take a real interest in her since she'd arrived, and she was grateful for the friendship.

"I ...I could tell you a story ... If you like?" She suggested, blushing strongly.

Willow smiled reassuringly at her. "I'd like that."

"Okay. Once upon a time there was, um ... a kitty. She was very little and she was all alone, and nobody wanted her," Tara began, her confidence rising.

"This is a very upsetting story."

"Oh, oh, but it gets better. Coz one day the kitty was running around in the street and a man came and swooped her up .... and took her to the pound. At the pound there were lots of other kitties, and there were puppies, and some ferrets ..."

Willow smiled. "Were there dolphins?"

"Yes. Many dolphins at the pound."

Willow smiled again, proud to see Tara coming out of her shell. "Was there a camel?"

"There was the front of a camel. A half camel."

"Did the kitty get chosen by some nice people?"

Tara blushed, suddenly realising what she'd been saying, and wondered where her outburst of confidence had come from. "Well, now you ruined the ending."

* * *

"Oh. My. God!" Kendall screamed, her eyes widening, barely stopping herself from falling off the wall. "She's gay!" 

Harrison sighed, which he thought was the best response in such a situation. "Who? The redhead?"

"No. The blonde. Tara."

"Really?" he questioned, full of well earned doubt for Kendall's judgment. "How can you be sure?"

She shot him a superior look. "I'm a woman. We can tell these things."

"Okay," he agreed, taking a seat next to her, intending to humour her for as long as possible. "If you're so sure, then why can't it be the redhead?"

Kendall sighed, deturmined to prove herself right. "How many people called Willow do you know who are gay?"

"None," Harrison admitted, unsure of her point.

Kendall smiled. "Exactly."

"That makes no sense!" he protested. "How many people called Tara do you know who are gay?"

She paused. He was right, she didn't know any. Shaking her dark hair over her shoulders, she ignored him and changed the subject.

"Think what this'll do for our ratings! People love lesbians, right?"

Harrison groaned inwardly and prepared himself for yet another explanation to Kendall about the show actually needing to be viewed, before they could even think about ratings.

* * *

Spike closed the door behind him as he entered 'The Bounce,' not proud to be able to say he now knew everything imaginable about cavemen. 

"How was it?" Buffy asked straightaway.

"Classical music. Three bloody hours. Non-stop," the bleached blond growled, his ears still ringing.

"I tried to warn you about the chocolate," Willow reminded him.

Spike ignored her, a question popping into his head, that he'd been dying to ask since watching the two hour programme. "Look, if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win?"

There was a few seconds of confused silence as everyone questioned the weird scenario.

"Do the astronauts have weapons?" Anya asked finally.

Both Angel and Spike replied with a firm "No!"

"But the cavemen have fire," Fred argued. "That's what they live with in their caves. The astronauts should at least have some sort of weapon."

Spike leant back on the blow-up bed, proudly watching the result of his question, knowing it could go on for hours.

* * *

TBC: In the next chapter, someone is gonna get voted out. I can't write the next one until I'm sure who you all like and dislike. So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review saying who you'd like to be voted out, coz there won't be a next chapter until I know. 


	7. Half Moon Nail Marks

Disclaimer: Kendall and Harrison are mine.

Author's note: Thanks to everyone who voted. I just thought I'd use this space to explain how I worked out who should go, even if it is self-explanatory. Obviously if you put in your review "I want Tara to go", then that was one vote towards Tara, but if you put something like "I love Tara, and I don't want her to leave", then that was one vote towards everyone else.

Kitty-Kat12: What you said about Fred and Illyria, I totally agree with that. It's kinda sad really.

Fred-V-Illyria: Thanks for reviewing and voting. I'm pleased you're still reading.

SpikesSpecialFriend: Yeah, I don't really wanna get rid of anyone just yet, but it's already the 7th chapter, and I don't know how much longer I can put it off. So I've left it till the end of the chapter, so you've still got this one with all eight.

Charmed-angel4: Thanks. I love 'The Bounce' too, it's fun trying to come up with inflatable things to put in there!

Mistymidnight: Thanks! I'm really pleased you like Kendall, seriously, coz I wasn't sure how she was coming across. Hope you like this chapter!

Sarah17: Thanks for reviewing, and your English was fine. I put in a Spike/Buffy moment for you, so I hope you're still reading!

Brigurl: I thought the punishment room was cool too, although it was kinda Miss69's idea, she put the suggestion in my head.

Miss69: Anyone would think you didn't like Spike. lol.

Dream Mistress: Yeah, I thought "reluction" sounded a bit weird. Thanks. Sorry you didn't think chapter 5 was as funny! But it is kinda hard to come up with things for the fic. I have no idea how I'm gonna manage the next chapter, my brain is empty!

* * *

"I kinda feel sorry for them", Kendall announced between sips of her strangely blue coloured drink. "It's obvious who'd win." 

Harrison rolled his eyes and groaned inwardly, finding it hard to believe he was actually about to take part in such a pointless argument. "Exactly," he sighed. "Astronauts have the most modern technology, what have the cavemen got?" he asked rhetorically, fully expecting her to agree with him and the conversation to be over.

"Fire," Kendall answered with a smile. "Fire is way better than technology, and ..." she smiled again, surprised he hadn't seen the most obvious advantage of all. "Dinosaurs."

Harrison almost laughed out loud, the fear of his girlfriend's unpredictable mood swings being the only thing stopping him.

"Ken," he said gently. "Reason one: That would be cheating. Reason two ..." he paused, avoiding eye contact. "Despite what "The Flintstones" would have us believe, dinosaurs and cavemen are from two different time periods."

Breathing deeply, he waited for her outburst, but instead she just laughed.

"Yeah," she agreed, with a happiness in her voice which Harrison had learnt not to trust. "So are cavemen and astronauts."

* * *

After coming to the conclusion that cavemen would in fact win the fight, the tension between the eight had greatly decreased, and 'The Bounce' was almost silent. 

A highly embarrassed Tara sat barely moving on the inflatable couch, with Willow asleep half on her lap and half on the floor. Anya was also asleep, curled up, face down, on the blow-up bed. Nobody wanted to move either of them, the bedrooms becoming unused anyway.

Tara watched quietly, as the other five who were awake sat down to play poker. Fred had found a pack of cards, which were unsurprisingly inflatable, but almost impossible to hold without everyone seeing your hand, as they were each just under 1/2 a metre tall, and equally large with the air packed inside them.

Carefully balancing his cards upright in a semi-circle on the floor around him, so Tara was the only one with a view, Xander placed his bet of five inflatable coins, none of the group actually realising how ridiculous the scene looked.

* * *

"Boring", Kendall sang, sounding surprisingly upbeat for someone complaining of boredom. "You know what we need?" 

Harrison stirred and opened his eyes; he should have known that pretending to be asleep wouldn't fool her. "What?" he asked, knowing she'd tell him anyway.

"A new challenge," she decided. "Something fun!"

Harrison groaned. "Ken, honey. It's 2:AM. Anya's asleep. Willow's asleep. I'm asleep. Why don't you try it?" he suggested in his sweetest voice.

Completely ignoring him, Kendall reached for the microphone. "Feeling hungry?"

* * *

Burying his head in his hands, Xander wept fake tears of disappointment. It was the first good hand he'd had throughout the whole game, and his cards chose that exact moment to fall around him like dominoes, revealing themselves to everyone. And if that wasn't a reason to exaggerate tears, then Xander didn't know what was. 

A few seconds later, when he finally looked up with the joking words "I'm ok," only Angel was still at the table, one eyebrow permanently raised in amusement. Fred lay asleep on the floor, her head rested against an inflatable playing card.

"'William and Elizabeth' have been called to do a task," Angel explained, answering Xander's unspoken question, and copying the way Kendall had asked for Spike and Buffy. Despite not once calling Spike 'William' before, she had assumed it would be the correct thing to say through a microphone.

"A task?" Xander repeated, looking at his watch and wondering how he'd missed them leaving. "But it's 2:AM"

* * *

"So, we're making a cake," Buffy confirmed. 

Spike grinned. "Apparently so, Pet."

"We're making a cake at 2:AM," she continued.

Spike nodded, waiting for her to give instructions, even though the blank look on her face meant she knew as little as him.

"I've seen my sister Dawn do it," Buffy offered, as if that suddenly meant she knew what to do. "It can't be that hard, right?"

Spike didn't reply as he lifted up eggs and flour, studying the packets vaguely.

"I guess we just mix it together?" she half asked, half explained, trying to make a slight effort, as Spike raised an eyebrow at the back of a bag of sugar. "See if there's a bowl around."

Snapping his eyes away from the ingredients, Spike grinned. "I've got a better idea".

* * *

"Quit it," Harrison mumbled, his eyes firmly closed, rolling away from Kendall's constant poking. 

"You gotta come see this," she demanded, her finger still jabbing him in the arm. "Spike's doing something."

"Isn't he always?" Harrison yawned, trying to roll further away, however, the sudden pain of Kendall's nail digging into his skin was enough to get him out of bed, and she knew it. So a few seconds later, they were both watching Spike and Buffy, although one of them was doing it with a throbbing arm.

* * *

Buffy watched in amusement as Spike tipped all the ingredients into one plastic bag, which he'd found under the sink. She'd never imagined Spike to be the cake baking type, and knew she was right, as she watched him tie a knot in the opening of the bag and then shake it vigorously, a creamy coloured mess forming inside. 

"This would make a great therapy technique," Spike announced to Buffy's surprise, as he began punching the bag of mixture. "Got a problem? Come beat it out."

Buffy smiled slightly, unsure what the correct response to something like that was. "I could have done this a lot faster without you," she finally commented.

"And that makes you angry?" Spike guessed, with a grin creeping over his face, as he slowly passed her the bag. "Care to pound on this for a while? It'll make you feel better."

* * *

Harrison laughed, making a mental note to get Kendall to try it sometime. Let her poke out her issues on cake mixture, not his arm, which was now covered in little half moon nail marks. 

"Right," Kendall started, waving slips of paper in front of his face. "I've written the names of each contestant on here ...."

He took the pieces out of her hand, and flicked through them.

"Alexander Harris ... Winifred Burkle ... Tara Maclay ... What is this?"

Snatching them back, Kendall glared at him. "Let me finish," she growled, causing him to step away. "Someone has to go, and these pieces of paper are gonna tell us who."

"How?" Harrison protested. "And why now?"

"I screw these up, you pick one, and then ..." she stopped to do a waving motion. "Bye-bye."

"But why now?" Harrison repeated, still shocked at the sudden decision to kick someone out. "It's 2:30:AM."

"Exactly," she smiled, starting to fold the slips. "They won't be expecting it." Roughly scattering the names around the floor, Kendall stepped back to let an unwilling Harrison pick. "Oh, and don't choose Spike."

* * *

"How was it?" Xander asked as Spike and Buffy came into 'The Bounce', although the fact that they were both equally covered with a creamy coloured gunge, should have answered his question. 

"Somebody," Spike started, glaring at his cooking partner, "had too many bloody problems for the bag to handle."

Xander shrugged, not even understanding a tiny bit. "Oh. Ok."

Suddenly a loud shrieking noise echoed through the room, as Kendall's whistle caused everyone asleep to wake up in shock. Anya sat bolt upright with a cry of "Not the bunnies," as the others reluctantly opened their eyes.

"What's going on?" Fred mumbled, burying her face into her playing card pillow.

They didn't have to wait long to find out though, as Kendall's clear voice didn't hesitate in delivering the bad news.

"Can Angel please pack his bags and leave the Manor. As of now, he is no longer a contestant."

* * *

TBC: Sorry to everyone who liked Angel!! I really hope you'll still read my story! 

I know some people skip past the Author's note, so I'm gonna write again here, how I decided who should leave.

If you put in your review "I want Tara to go", then that was one vote towards Tara, but if you put something like "I love Tara, and I don't want her to leave", then that was one vote towards everyone else.

Angel: 20%  
Spike & Tara: 15%  
Everyone else: 10%

I'm not gonna vote anyone else out for a while now, but feel free to start saying who you want gone next.


	8. Sprinkles On Her Ice Cream

Disclaimer: Kendall, Harrison, and Andie are mine. Nothing else.

Author's note: Sorry this chapter took so long! I was on a block with it!

Thanks to ....

Fred-V-Illyria, Kitty-kat12, Karmawiccan, Miss69, Charmed-angel4, Mistymidnight, Vote For Lilah, and Graga Serrs

... For reviewing.

SpikesSpecialFriend: Thanks for your nice review! And Wesley probably will appear in later chapters.

Little Illy: Thanks for reviewing my first chapter. I hope you're still reading.

Imzadi: This chapter is especially for you, so I hope you like it. I really didn't want to bring Lindsey into it, so I thought his and Kate's daughter would be the next best thing.

* * *

"Yeah? Well screw you!" Kendall slammed the phone down with frightening force. 

Harrison watched her, unsure whether to be happy she'd actually spoken to someone other than him, or concerned that she'd just had a yelling match with what could have been a stranger.

"Ken?" he said gently. "Who was on the phone?"

"Lindsey-Mc-Will-You-Do-Me-A-Favour-Donald" she spat angrily.

Harrison tool a deep breath, realising for once why Kendall wasn't in the best of moods; she'd never really gotten on with Lindsey.

"Oh," he said simply. "What did he want?"

"He's taking Kate out for the day," Kendall explained, as if it was a crime. "Needs a babysitter."

Harrison sighed. He liked Lindsey, he really did, despite many people's opinions of his strange friendship with the lawyer, but his timing wasn't great.

"I told him we were too busy with the show," she told him proudly.

Harrison's heart sank. "Tell him we'll do it," he said reluctantly.

"What?!" Kendall exploded. Not only did she dislike Lindsey, but she disliked children even more.

"Ken," Harrison said gently. "This show ... " he began, unsure how to word it. " ... The last thing we need is a pissed off lawyer, and his policewoman wife."

Kendall narrowed her eyes, unsure what he meant, but an idea forming anyway. "I'll ring him back," she said suddenly, pointing to the screen showing 'The Bounce'. "Those lot could use a new challenge."

* * *

Buffy sighed. Out of the seven remaining contestants, she was the only one who could honestly say she missed Angel. Spike and Xander in particular, were thrilled by his absence. 

"Anya Jenkins, please come to the rooftop to collect your next challenge." Harrison's voice came through the speaker, none of the seven had heard him speak before, and they got the feeling he wasn't very happy about something.

Anya obediently left the room, however with the usual reluctant sigh and mumbled comment.

"This can't be good," Willow said, stating the obvious.

Buffy and Spike nodded with enthusiastic agreement. Their last challenge had involved both of them getting covered in extremely sticky cake mixture, so they knew as well as anybody that Kendall's plans weren't of the good variety.

A few moments of suspenseful waiting passed, and soon footsteps were heard outside the room.

"Come along, Small Aesthetically Pleasing Person."

Everyone glanced to the door as Anya re-entered, but not alone. Beside her was a small girl, about six years old, with dark blonde hair. Beaming up at the people in front of her, the child introduced herself confidently. "I'm Andie."

"Anya?" Fred came over to the door. "I don't mean to sound ... " she trailed off. " ... What are we meant to do with her?"

"Looks like we're babysitting the Niblet," Spike commented, unimpressed.

The little girl stamped her foot. "I'm Andie," she said again. "And you're ignoring me."

Tara rushed to reassure her, not wanting a tantrum throwing six year old on their hands. "No. No we're not."

"You were," she insisted. "And that's a criminal offense," Andie continued, trying her hardest to sound like her mommy. "Code 35962."

"Huh?" Xander asked blankly.

Fred shrugged.

* * *

Kendall laughed, the strong breeze ruffling her hair into knots, causing her to look the picture of insanity. 

"It's like legalized babysitting," she commented happily.

"Babysitting is legal," Harrison informed her dryly. He hated the idea of leaving his friend's daughter with seven strangers.

Even though Andrea McDonald seemed a perfectly normal, confident child, Harrison knew she could be a handful.

* * *

"Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy," Andie sang as she leapt across the inflatable floor in excitement, occasionally jumping right into the furniture and bouncing back with no injuries. "Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy ..." She stopped suddenly, noticing something out of the corner of her eye. Something she loved even more that her daddy ... chocolate. 

Smiling widely, she reached over to eat from the jacuzzi.

Remembering his own experience, Spike rushed to stop her. "Hold up there, Niblet. You don't wanna do that."

Andie turned to Spike angrily, trying to remember something she'd heard Lindsey or Kate say, but one look at the man in front of her, was enough to forgive him. At only six years old, Andrea McDonald was in love.

Instead she turned impatiently to Willow, after smiling sweetly at Spike. "Why not?"

Willow thought for a moment, uncomfortable under the stare of a demanding child, then she picked up the piece of paper saying, "Do not eat the chocolate, or else," and handed it to her.

Andie read it quickly and sighed. "Or else what?"

"Or else, you're forced to listen to classical music," Spike explained dramatically.

The little girl shrugged. "I like classical music," she explained. "Like daddy's friend Darla," her voice became sad for a moment. "Who went away."

Fred and Tara looked at each other, unsure what to say to the child, who'd obviously lost someone.

Xander filled in the silence. "Or you have to learn about cavemen,"

Andie glared at Buffy, obviously not bothered that Xander, was in fact the one talking. "Prove it," she challenged.

"We can," Anya replied. "Spike ate some."

"You're lying," Andrea informed her confidently, not willing to hear anything bad said against her precious Spike. "And that's violating code 1673," she explained, again making up a number in her head. "I'm afraid we'll have to take this to court."

* * *

Even Harrison found himself smiling, as he watched the seven struggle to take care of Andie. 

He'd been to "Court" many times himself because of her, once for not putting enough sprinkles on her ice cream.

However, he wasn't as excited as Kendall, although that's not really hard to believe. She'd never watched Andie play, having disappeared on the rare occasions Lindsey and Kate appeared, so the brunette was hooked to the screen.

* * *

After lining up Fred, Xander, Tara, Buffy and Willow, along with some inflatable playing cards, as the jury, Andie placed Anya and Spike in position. 

The little girl sat at the inflatable table and grabbed a blow-up hammer, which just happened to be in the room. "This is my Gavin," she explained.

"Don't you mean gavel?" Xander asked cautiously.

Andie shook her head. "Gavin." There was a nasty man at daddy's work called Gavin, and the child liked to imagine his face on the hammer.

"Did you, or did you not, eat the chocolate?" she asked Spike, in her lawyers voice.

He grinned. "Never touched it."

"Did too!" Anya argued childishly.

Andie ignored her, and turned to the jury. "Do you find him guilty, or not guilty?"

Every single person said "guilty", although the playing cards did seem a bit uncertain. The little girl nodded, as if she was seriously thinking about their decision.

"Not guilty," she yelled, slamming Gavin onto the table. "I sentence you," she continued, pointing to Anya, "to one hundred years of standing in the corner, for breaking code 63215."

Anya shook her head defiantly. "No way."

* * *

Watching Anya literally get forced into the corner of 'The Bounce' by a six year old, was enough to make Harrison agree that it had been a good idea, and he was disappointed to see Andie leave. Even Kendall was reluctant to send the girl back to her parents, although she was only interested in her ratings, which Harrison continuously explained she didn't have. 

But Andie went home, and Kendall was left to think up more crazy ideas, much to Harrison's concern.

* * *

TBC: I'm not sure what's gonna happen next, I basically make it up as I go along. Please review though! 

Also, continue voting people out, Buffy's in the lead at the moment with 40 percent of the votes.


	9. And Bingo Was His Name O

Disclaimer: Kendall, Harrison, and Andie are mine! All mine! Sadly, I own nothing else.

Author's note: It's slowly been occurring to me, that as more people get voted out, less people are going to read my story. Coz once your favourite has gone, there'll be no point in reading. So this is where I beg you all to keep reading and reviewing! Even if you're not happy with the eviction results! Ok, I'm done begging now.

Thanks to: ....

Imzadi, Kitty-Kat12, Charmed-angel4, SpikesSpecialFriend, Vote For Lilah, Fred-V-Illyria, Miss69, Numfarismyidol and Dream Mistress

..... for reviewing the previous chapter.

* * *

"You know who I miss?" Kendall asked casually, her wavy hair blowing slightly in the breeze, as she led on top of the wall surrounding the roof of the Manor. Despite Harrison insisting that it was dangerous to lie on top of such a small area, so high up, she still refused to leave her favourite spot. 

Harrison sighed; he hated guessing games with Kendall, they always seemed to last forever. "Andie?"

She screwed up her face in confusion.

"Andie," he said again. "Cute kid. About this tall," he gestured with his hand.

She shook her head.

"Lindsey and Kate's daughter?"

Again she shook her head, annoyance starting to show on her face.

"She was here yesterday!" Harrison exclaimed, more than normally amazed at his girlfriend's selective memory.

Kendall shrugged, boredom being added to the annoyance at Harrison not playing the game correctly.

Giving up on Andrea, Harrison guessed again, "Angel?"

Kendall paused, taking a few seconds to decide whether or not she missed Angel. She shook her head. "Nope."

"Your Great Grandfather twice removed, who married your brother's daughter?" Harrison guessed, completely random words coming out of his mouth. He knew it would annoy her, but the chances of her telling him the answer would be improved in the process.

She glared at him, sliding down from the wall in quite a frightening way. "Anya," she finally said.

"You miss Anya?" Harrison asked, watching the screen where he could in fact see the girl in question. "But she hasn't gone anywhere."

"Yeah," Kendall agreed sadly, as she faintly heard some of Anya's conversation on how rubber gloves made good condom substitutes. "Don't you wish she would?"

* * *

" ... and that's how it's done," Anya finished, giving her embarrassed audience a proud smile. 

Xander tried to comment, but his words came out slightly muffled and squeaky. "I think I hear the phone ringing," he managed to cough, despite the fact that they had no access to a phone. Anya watched as he dived across 'The Bounce' and behind the couch, she could never work out why her words had such strange effects on people.

Buffy tried to stop a giggle, as she heard Xander going "Hello?" frantically trying to keep up the pretence that he heard ringing.

Anya turned back to her audience expectantly, waiting for one of them to speak.

"Well," Fred began, blushing slightly. "That's great, right?"

No one replied, not even Spike, who really had thought the explanation was great, and the room fell into an awkward silence, only broken by Xander's constant whispered "phone call".

* * *

Kendall glared at Harrison, she'd noticed the way his eyes had lit up, and she fumed with jealousy. 

"She's gotta go," Kendall explained calmly enough not to show any jealous feelings, but with a demanding tone of voice.

"Why?" Harrison asked, genuinely confused. He'd thought that out of everyone, Anya was most likely to be Kendall's favourite. All she cared about was ratings, and someone like Anya was bound to help, but Ken seemed to want to get rid of her.

"Because ..." she began, her mind completely blank. "Because .... I say so." She swung herself back onto the wall, giving the impression that the conversation was over, exactly as she'd hoped.

"Ok," Harrison agreed, much to Kendall's surprise. "Someone's gotta go."

Her heart sank. That wasn't what she'd meant. Anya needed to go, there was no question about it.

* * *

"Challenge time!" 

Kendall's voice came loudly through the speaker, however it lacked her normal excited tone.

"Bye," Xander said loudly into his hand, even though it was obvious to anyone that he'd never been on the phone. Even he knew it.

Tara immediately felt panic, the last challenge had been ok, Andie was easy enough, but given the history of Kendall's ideas, she knew not to expect something easy. Willow noticed her worried face, even though Tara was trying to hide it, and squeezed her hand in support.

The seven followed Ken's instructions, and soon found themselves in a part of the Manor which hadn't been explored. A large door, appropriately labeled "Challenge" stood in front of them, Spike pushed it open.

All that greeted them was a small room, with 2 wooden chairs in the middle. Before anyone had the chance to look confused, Harrison explained the challenge briefly. "Whoever can stay in this room the longest, wins."

Tara let out the breath she was holding, with a sigh of relief. This challenge looked too easy.

"So, we've just got to stay in this room?" Buffy repeated, closing the door behind them all.

Willow nodded.

"Alright!" Xander exclaimed, excited at not having to do something hard, and also sitting in one of the only chairs in the room.

Both Anya and Spike battled it out for the remaining chair. Spike won, causing Anya to sulk in the corner.

Willow and Tara shared a smile at the childish behaviour of some of their house mates.

Fred sat on the floor of the room, secretly wishing she'd gotten a chair. Buffy, Willow and Tara joined her after a while. Anya stayed in the corner, sulking.

* * *

"How long do you think they'll last?" Kendall asked happily, proud of her latest random idea. 

Harrison shrugged, trying to think of ways to keep Anya in the house. "Dunno."

Ken sighed and leaned backwards off the wall, so she could see the ground. The roof was three stories high, but yet leaning over the edge didn't scare her in the slightest. The blood rushed to her head, and she smiled as the cool wind hit her face.

* * *

Buffy looked up for the third time in two minutes, as a quiet meow came from the corner. 

"Anya!" she exclaimed. "What's with all the meow-age?"

"Meow-age?" Fred giggled, having not gotten used to the weird Sunnydale expressions.

Anya turned around, obviously deciding to stop sulking. "I'm bored," she whined.

"You're not the only one, Pet," Spike commented, dryly, as Anya made another noise like a cat.

"Sometimes I make noises like this when I ..."

"Can we just leave, whenever we like?" Tara asked quietly, interrupting Anya on purpose. After the informative talk about peanut butter and rubber gloves, she wasn't really ready to hear when and why Anya made cat noises.

Willow turned the door handle, and the door swung open. "I guess so."

"So why are we still here?" Fred asked. "I'm just saying, we can all leave, but we don't seem to be going anywhere, is all."

Xander looked at Fred and nodded in agreement. "I think my thumb's getting bigger."

Buffy stared at him, as he watched his hand in amazement, and Anya continued meowing in the corner. "We've been in here for five minutes," she said, looking at her watch. "And we're already insane."

* * *

"Insanity!" Kendall cheered, still upside down over the wall. 

"Yeah," Harrison said, not really paying attention, but reaching for the microphone. "Anya?" he said cautiously into it, making sure to whisper, "If you leave the room, then there might be ...." he paused, unsure what exactly to use as his pathetically low bribe. ".... some money?"

He watched her eyes light up. Bribery was usually Kendall's form of getting what she wanted, but Harrison was desperate, and it wasn't really about Anya any more. It was more about him and Ken; she wanted Anya to leave, so he would force her to stay.

* * *

Fighting with the decision for only a few seconds, Anya left the room, in search of the promised money. Harrison sighed with relief. 

Buffy's mouth dropped open, in shock that anyone could be that shallow.

"Of course," Willow said bitchily, although not sure where the angry tone came from. "That's what she cares about."

Tara put her hand on Willow's shoulder, as she continued to express her annoyance. "_I like money better than people. People can so rarely be exchanged for goods and/or services_."

Spike laughed at the accurate description of Anya, he liked her a lot, but he still found it funny. "Nice one, Luv."

Willow smiled too, calming down after realising that there was one less person taking part in the challenge. None of the six people remaining in the room knew that, rather than the last person to leave winning something, that person in fact got evicted.

* * *

"You promised her money?" Kendall exploded, pulling herself up from the wall to a new upright position. 

"I only said, there _might _be some," Harrison said feebly, regretting his actions already, and dreading Anya finding out that there wasn't anything for her.

"Well, well, well" Ken said, advancing on him in a frightening manor. "Things sure have changed."

He backed away, slightly scared of her unpredictable nature. "Huh?"

"Oh, I think you know what I mean." And with that, she smiled at him, turned, and walked back to the wall, where she proceeded to once again, hang upside down.

* * *

"Bored now," Willow sang from her spot on the floor, the two chairs still occupied. 

"Way with the bored," Buffy agreed, tilting her head back to touch the wall.

Tara smiled at Willow, and briefly let her hand brush across the redhead's knee. Only Spike noticed the quick action. "We all are," she said softly.

Xander grinned. He had the perfect solution to any boring situation. "There was a farmer, had a dog ..."

"And Bingo was his name-o," Willow giggled, and sang, slightly off key.

Spike rolled his eyes. "B-I-N ..." he started, "Bugger this."

"Ruin the fun," Buffy whined, but smiling to show she was joking. "Don't you like sing-alongs?" she teased.

Xander laughed. "Yeah, Spike, I always had you down as the singing type."

"B-I-N-G-O," Fred sang, even more off key than Willow, drowning out Spike's response to Xander.

The bleached blond stood up, and Buffy automatically took the chair, before he had a chance to sit back down. "Take it," he said casually, walking to the door. A group of girls singing badly, and, well, Xander, was enough to force him out. It's not like he even cared about the challenge, or that's what he told himself.

* * *

"And Bingo was his name-o!" Kendall finished. 

Harrison smiled, although he wasn't too happy that Spike had left the room, as this meant that he would be staying in the Manor for longer, just as Kendall had hoped. However, if Spike was still a contestant, then it would take her mind off of Anya, and that was worth smiling for, especially since after discovering that the money was fictitious, Anya had sworn vengeance on them both.

"There was a farmer ..." Ken started again, singing along with Buffy on the screen.

Harrison interrupted her, "So what now?"

She stopped singing and looked at him impatiently, "What now what?"

"Huh?" He shook off his confusion and continued, "The challenge. Now what?"

She looked at her watch. "Well, they're clearly not giving up without a fight," she announced, suddenly interested again, the urge to sing annoying songs completely gone.

Harrison grabbed her wrist and twisted it so he could see the time, "They've been in there for twenty-four minutes," he said, "Wait, make that twenty-five. Of course they're not giving up yet."

"Well, I'm bored."

He laughed, watching the screen where Xander had started them singing, Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, with the appropriate actions. "So are they."

"Well, lets discuss it then," Kendall said, sounding strangely calm. The shock of that made Harrison automatically agree, even though he had no idea what she meant.

"We need to keep Tara and ..." she paused. "The red headed one."

Harrison gave her a look which said "Huh?"

"Come on," she explained. "They could not want each other more!"

Again he gave her the "Huh?" look.

Ken shook her head, giving up on trying to explain the importance of ratings, to someone who obviously thought the show would never get picked up.

"We'll need Fred too," she decided. Buffy was too much of a threat to her relationship with Harrison, it was bad enough that Anya was still around, also, with Buffy gone, Spike would have no one left to fawn over. So, if Fred stayed, and Buffy left, Kendall's problems were solved instantly, or they would be in her opinion.

Harrison read her mind, not literally, but he'd known her long enough to realise what she was thinking. "One," he said, faking jealousy towards Spike, "I'm still here!"

She rolled her eyes.

"And two: just because Buffy leaves, it doesn't mean Spike's gonna like you any more. We don't even know if he likes _her."_

"Oh, he does," Ken announced superiorly, again going with the theory that as a woman, she knew everything to do with other people's relationships.

* * *

" ... knees and toes!" Xander finished dramatically, the only person in the room still singing. Although, since there was only one other person in the room, that wasn't such a surprise. 

Buffy smiled, and clapped sarcastically. He grinned and bowed.

Willow and Tara had left the room halfway through the second verse of Xander's song. Buffy and Fred had heard Kendall's voice, but they were too busy singing to hear what had been said. Fred left as well only a few moments later, again because of Kendall, and her bunny Feigenbaum being held hostage. Even Ken herself had felt terrible seeing Fred on the verge of tears, as she explained that Feigenbaum would be sliced open if no one came to claim it. But as she'd explained to Harrison, 'You've got to be cruel to be kind', and 'It was worth it to keep Fred in the Manor.'

Now all Kendall had to do, was make sure Xander got out of the room, so that Buffy could be gone, once and for all. However, neither of the two contestants knew that the last person in the room got evicted, they assumed the last person was the winner, and therefore won something.

"Alexander ...." came the voice through the speaker.

Buffy sighed loudly, annoyed with the obvious and deliberate attempts to remove people from the room. "Suspicious much?"

Xander nodded, although he hadn't actually thought about it until Buffy mentioned it.

"I'm going," she decided. "There's gotta be a reason behind this, and I'm going to find it."

* * *

"Noooooooo," Kendall cried, using one of those over dramatic screams, usually heard when a cartoon character falls off a cliff. 

Inwardly, Harrison was screaming the opposite, but he said nothing. With Xander being the second person evicted, he had no competition for Anya. Not that he'd ever attempt anything, and anyway, it was more about Kendall. She'd wanted Anya and Buffy out, and both were still in the Manor. For once she hadn't gotten her own way, and Harrison liked the rare feeling it gave him.

* * *

TBC: I've got loads of ideas for future chapters, so I'll try and update more often. 

Results: (percent)

Xander: 28  
Buffy: 23  
Tara: 19  
Spike and Anya: 10  
Willow and Fred: 5

Let me know who you want out next! Also, I've updated "What's That Smell?", and I'm longing for reviews!


	10. Brightly Coloured Feet

Disclaimer: Harrison, Kendall, Andie, and Grammy all belong to me. Yay! I own made up people! I do not own "Buffy" or "Angel" or any of the people in them. I also don't own the Queen.

Author's note: To everyone who asked: Yes I will be doing the "wild card" suggestion, and bringing characters in, and stuff like that, so please just stick with my story even if you're not happy with the evictions! Thanks!

Thanks to: Vote For Lilah, Fred-V-Illyria, Mistymidnight, Numfarismyidol, Anna, Kitty-kat12, Missy, Lia Star, and Salvory, for reviewing.

* * *

"You mean, it was all a trick?" Tara demanded, managing to sound angry, but shy at the same time. 

Buffy nodded, upset that Xander had left, even more so that she had been with Angel, just for the fact that she'd had longer to get to know him, but silently relieved that she had chosen to leave the room, therefore keeping her place in the Manor.

"But, Xander can't leave," Anya whined.

Willow shook her head, "Already has," she said sadly. Out of the original eight contestants, Xander had grown closest to Willow. From the moment he'd found her "lost" on the first day, it felt like they'd known each other forever. Tara put a comforting hand on Willow's shoulder.

"I need him to come back," Anya explained, as if bringing him back was the easiest thing in the world. "We were going to ..."

"We need to be careful," Buffy interrupted, not wanting to hear Anya's plans for Xander; she was still having nightmares about some of her other suggestions. "They've tricked us once ..."

"3.141592," Fred suddenly blurted out, much to everyone's surprise. "Pi," she explained, with an embarrassed smile, Feigenbaum's head sticking out of the top of her skirt. Ever since the toy bunny had been held hostage by Kendall, Fred had been loathed to let it out of her sight.

Anya fought back a scream as she noticed it for the first time, while Fred continued her explanation. "I don't know it all," she said modestly, "But there's no pattern." The physicist paused, and then launched into another string of numbers. "653589793237."

Willow nodded, understanding what the brunette was trying to say, in her unique but crazy way. "It never repeats itself," she concluded, smiling at Fred. Tara felt a slight pang of jealousy, while Buffy and Anya gave simultaneous "Huh?"s

"They wouldn't try tricking us again," Spike said, mainly for Buffy's benefit. "They wouldn't be that bloody stupid."

Anya sighed, finally understanding. "Why didn't you just say that?"

* * *

"Grammy!" Kendall cried, in the friendliest voice Harrison had ever heard her use. 

"Kennikins!" came the sickly sweet reply, as Kendall's grandmother poked her head around the door at the top of the steps. Harrison rolled his eyes when he saw her, fighting to keep the grin from his face when she slapped him on the back, with a friendly "Alright mate?"

He nodded and stuck up his thumb, taking in her latest fashion attempt. A denim skirt, shorter than Kendall herself would feel comfortable in, along with odd socks, each reaching up past her knees, looked particularly strange on her frail, bony body, especially with an "I love the Knicks" shirt, and back to front baseball cap. Kendall Dappleton had no ordinary Grandmother, and that was just the way she liked it.

"What brings you here, Grammy?" Ken asked, still in her friendliest voice.

"I won't lie to you," she replied in a raspy voice, getting straight to the point. "I wanna be in the show."

Harrison's eyebrows shot up, and he found himself choking on air. "What?" he gasped, not expecting her to mention the show at all; he didn't even think she knew about it.

"My little birdy told me," she explained, as if reading his mind.

"Grammy," Kendall said patiently. "Your birdy died."

The elderly lady smiled knowingly and let out an eerie laugh, which made Harrison shudder.

"Right?"

* * *

"So, what's your name, Luv?" Spike asked, as he watched the fascinating figure pull up one of her socks, so her knee had brightly coloured spots on it. 

"Elizabeth Windsor," she told him automatically.

Spike laughed. "Queen of England, eh?"

'Elizabeth' nodded vigorously, adjusting her baseball cap so a lock of pink hair fell out. Spike stopped laughing for a second, noticing the seriousness in her eyes.

"But ..." Fred protested.

'Elizabeth' cut her off. "Do not talk back to your Queen," she growled, causing more creases in her already wrinkled face. Fred stepped back quickly, more than slightly intimidated.

"I used to have a rabbit like that," Grammy Dappleton told her, as she moved away, pointing to Feigenbaum's barely visible head. "I used to keep it in my skirt too."

Fred's eyes lit up, and she smiled at the strange old lady, while Anya began to mutter to herself, undoubtedly about the evil that is bunnies.

"I think that's how it died."

Fred's face fell.

* * *

Harrison leaned against the wall surrounding the roof of the Manor, while Kendall resumed her favourite position on top of it. Both were watching the screen closely. 

"Your Grandmother," he began. "She's insane, right?"

Ken took a moment to look hurt at the accusation, before replying, "Hell yeah."

* * *

"Is that how old people normally act?" Tara whispered. All of her grandparents were dead, but she was sure they were different from 'Queen Elizabeth' who was currently leaping around 'The Bounce' in her multi-coloured socks, crying "Yeehah!" 

"They were more ..."

"Of the cookie bake-age variety," Willow finished. Tara nodded.

Suddenly Grammy Dappleton stopped bouncing. "I could bake cookies?" she suggested.

"No!" came the loud, chorused reply.

"No _thank you._" Buffy corrected, shooting evil glares at her fellow house-mates. "Your Majesty," she added quickly, feeling incredibly stupid.

"Your Majesty?" Ken's Grandmother questioned. "I'm so over that," she explained, in the kind of voice which meant they should have already known.

"Who are you then?" Fred asked nervously, still aware that this woman had admitted to killing a rabbit by keeping it down her skirt.

Grabbing an inflatable blanket off of the blow-up bed, she wrapped it like a cape around her "I love the Knicks" shirt, and took an enormous leap. "I'm Superwoman," she announced, diving her fragile, elderly body behind the chocolate jacuzzi, landing in a roll and then on to her brightly coloured feet.

Spike grinned at the near 90 year olds antics. "I like her."

* * *

Please review, even if you just say "HI". 

I've updated "WTS?" recently too, which is desperate for reviews. Again, you can just say "HI".

The votes at the moment: (percent)

Anya: 43  
Buffy: 29  
Fred&Spike: 14  
Willow&Tara: 0

Please vote for who you want out next!

Extra Authors note: I just got the following review from SpikesSpecialFriend:

"I want the grandmother out. this chapter just didn't seem as awesome as your other ones. granted, it was still good, but you need to bring back Xander or another evicted character or Wesley and get rid of the grandmother. have them 'trade' the people maybe? i don't know, it's just that the grandmother does not fit with the rest of the story. but, I'm sure whatever you do will be fine. this was just me putting my two cents in."

So I just wanted to say, Grammy Dappleton is NOT a permanent character. I just used her for one chapter, you will probably never see her again. So don't worry about her turning up if you didn't like her.

SpikesSpecialFriend: Thanks for reviewing! I appreciate it!


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